Sunday, August 1, 2010

AUGENBLICK

I was about to sign in with a Happy August!! and a description of our weekend---we'd got the children on the road to the beach house yesterday a.m., I deflated quickly and slept all afternoon, and we're putting down new flooring in Caro's bathroom while they're gone.

I was so full of MY tired and my things to do and MY week in prospect, and then we decided to run to Cracker Barrel for a leisurely lunch. We arrived to find the front drive blocked by an ambulance and a firetruck, and since people were still going in and out, we went in.

We were soon seated, in an oddly-sparse area in a corner, where our waiter's first words were: It's a bad day here today. A man collapsed and died right here just now.

We spoke quietly, befitting the gravity of the time; we ate our lunch, talking of the children and the work to come; we clasped our hands tighter than usual, as he asked the blessing on the food and on the strangers in their loss. And we looked at each other in a new, unsure way, I think, with our minds on the fleeting time there is.

Best laid plans, hopes and wishes, thoughts of self and cupboards and mingy-small things like Clorox and Brillo---they are fleeting things, like bubbles in the sun, and we can only look up.

It's been a strange day; I'm going to meditate a while at the dishpan, right some rooms, perhaps make a pot of coffee and put down some things in today's journal. Nothing prepares us. Nothing.

I wish I could hug every single person I love. Right now.

8 comments:

  1. Thank you, Rachel, for your beautiful post. It touched me, as only you can do. I too wish I could hug every single person I love. How quickly our lives can be changed and how quickly we tend to forget what is important.

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  2. Lovely, Rachel. So glad you two found each other that many years ago. Continue to cherish all and sundry even as your family grows.

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  3. Dear Rachel, get some rest. I think you would jump off that rock. Smile. I am sitting here falling asleep.

    Good night dear friend.hugs, Jeanne

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  4. I have always felt that existence is such a wonderful, awesome thing- it's important, for me, to savor every moment, each ache of the soul, each joyful tear- nothing is worthless. After a few fleeting decades(a dozen if you're incredibly blessed!), it's over, the life we so often seem to have run right through without really noticing the details. I do my utmost to enjoy each sparkling moment, and I think that you do, as well. I'm sending you a big hug, my dear friend!

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  5. Here's your hug, Rachel - Each person who visited here today, who posted offering love and comfort. You are loved.

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  6. We never will be totally prepared, I think. It is just the ultimate mystery...when we leave this earth. There used to be anothe, you know. The sex of a baby. But, some one got tot big for their britches, if you ask me, and ruined the surprise for all the young folks nowadays.

    (((rachel)))
    that's a hug...in blog talk...

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  7. Thank you all, My Dearies, for the sweet words and the hugs. It's just been a strange week, with all our girls far away, and the house so strangely silent (save for the A/C and all these whirring fans).

    You are all such dear sweet people, and I count you all amongst my blessings, every day.

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