Sunday, August 1, 2010

AUGENBLICK

I was about to sign in with a Happy August!! and a description of our weekend---we'd got the children on the road to the beach house yesterday a.m., I deflated quickly and slept all afternoon, and we're putting down new flooring in Caro's bathroom while they're gone.

I was so full of MY tired and my things to do and MY week in prospect, and then we decided to run to Cracker Barrel for a leisurely lunch. We arrived to find the front drive blocked by an ambulance and a firetruck, and since people were still going in and out, we went in.

We were soon seated, in an oddly-sparse area in a corner, where our waiter's first words were: It's a bad day here today. A man collapsed and died right here just now.

We spoke quietly, befitting the gravity of the time; we ate our lunch, talking of the children and the work to come; we clasped our hands tighter than usual, as he asked the blessing on the food and on the strangers in their loss. And we looked at each other in a new, unsure way, I think, with our minds on the fleeting time there is.

Best laid plans, hopes and wishes, thoughts of self and cupboards and mingy-small things like Clorox and Brillo---they are fleeting things, like bubbles in the sun, and we can only look up.

It's been a strange day; I'm going to meditate a while at the dishpan, right some rooms, perhaps make a pot of coffee and put down some things in today's journal. Nothing prepares us. Nothing.

I wish I could hug every single person I love. Right now.

8 comments:

Marlene said...

Thank you, Rachel, for your beautiful post. It touched me, as only you can do. I too wish I could hug every single person I love. How quickly our lives can be changed and how quickly we tend to forget what is important.

Chesapeake said...

Lovely, Rachel. So glad you two found each other that many years ago. Continue to cherish all and sundry even as your family grows.

Jeanne said...

Dear Rachel, get some rest. I think you would jump off that rock. Smile. I am sitting here falling asleep.

Good night dear friend.hugs, Jeanne

Cape Coop said...

I have always felt that existence is such a wonderful, awesome thing- it's important, for me, to savor every moment, each ache of the soul, each joyful tear- nothing is worthless. After a few fleeting decades(a dozen if you're incredibly blessed!), it's over, the life we so often seem to have run right through without really noticing the details. I do my utmost to enjoy each sparkling moment, and I think that you do, as well. I'm sending you a big hug, my dear friend!

Kouign Aman said...

amen

Kim Shook said...

Here's your hug, Rachel - Each person who visited here today, who posted offering love and comfort. You are loved.

Tonja said...

We never will be totally prepared, I think. It is just the ultimate mystery...when we leave this earth. There used to be anothe, you know. The sex of a baby. But, some one got tot big for their britches, if you ask me, and ruined the surprise for all the young folks nowadays.

(((rachel)))
that's a hug...in blog talk...

racheld said...

Thank you all, My Dearies, for the sweet words and the hugs. It's just been a strange week, with all our girls far away, and the house so strangely silent (save for the A/C and all these whirring fans).

You are all such dear sweet people, and I count you all amongst my blessings, every day.