Tuesday, November 25, 2025

MY FRIEND KARLA KAY

In this special season of THANKFULS, I'm doing a lot of remembering of Things Past---those softly-remembered moments and years and people who shaped our selves and beings along the way.   One very thankful for the past few decades has been a mist-softened memory of a childhood friend, whose life we all coveted, I think, in our youthful ways of thought.

Do we all know someone whose life we wished could live---someone with a family whose life together we envied, or who had a talent we’d like to have, or who even just had THINGS which we longed for and never obtained?    Mine was Karla Kay---she of the always-tanned perfect complexion, eyelashes out to THERE, and even longer slimslim legs which made white short-shorts into what they were meant to be. She lived in a house with hardwood floors and beautiful scatter-rugs in front of couches and a long strip of one down the hall to “the girls’ rooms” and an immense thick one beneath the real dining-room table. Our dining room was the end of the kitchen without cabinets, with a round maroon formica table and six matching vinyl chairs.     We knew each other from age four until early in this turned Century, when she passed away and was mourned most deeply by her loving family and friends.   

Karla Kay had long dark curly hair, washed with CONTI shampoo---the drift of scent from her curls was the fragrance of flowers; ours was Halo and a vinegar rinse and whatever was on the shelf at Fred’s. She always smelled of fresh-ironed cotton and the vaguest whiff of her Daddy’s cigars---he drove her and her sisters to school, and since he had a job with the CITY and could leave his office whenever he wanted, he picked them up and took them home for lunch, then was waiting after school to take them home or to the library, dentist appointments, or the drugstore for a Fountain Coke.

She had records and a big record player in the den, and a smaller one in her room; the big one was for when she “had boys over” and we danced in our socks---the closest I ever came to that was on several Saturday mornings when I’d put Johnson’s wax on all our own hardwoods, and was encouraged to call my girlfriends to come over to polish. We’d all wear a clean pair of Daddy’s old socks and dance the floors shiny to Elvis and Jerr’ Lee, and put on a Connie Francis, for long, skating strokes to smooth the boards. 
 
They went on vacations to Rock City and Destin and Mexico; they had subscriptions to Highlights For Children and National Geographic and later, Seventeen; they had girls over to spend the night, and they slept until ten or noon (once I went to a slumber party, and my Mother woke everybody up when she came to get me at eight to come home and tend to my sister, when we were supposed to go for Huddleburgers for lunch for KK's birthday). Her parents belonged to the BOMC and her mother smoked Old Golds with a little short white holder, the smoke drifting lazily up into her premature salt-and-pepper hair. They had a wonderful life.

I ran into Karla Kay and her husband in the ER one night in the Eighties, when I had to take my MIL in; she barely spoke, sitting leaning against him, as he whispered, “one of her headaches.” A couple of years later, same circumstance, same ER---his whispered, “We’ve come for her SHOT,” explaining all. I knew then that the coincidence was too far-fetched, and that she must have been there like clockwork;   Marjorie exasperatedly confided later that they made the rounds of several counties---one hospital here one night, another on another.

She wasted years of her life, her beautiful family, her own lovely existence, on a haze of nightly oblivion. And they adored her, lost her much too young, mourned her with fierce tears, and still speak of her as a saint who bore her travail with grace and honor. I remember her as a beautiful young friend whose life seemed to outshine mine. But not forever.

Anyone care to remember THEIR Karla Kay?

4 comments:

  1. So very sad. I always say, this isn't a practice.This is your life and it is what you make it.

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  2. Darling Rachel,

    Neither of us can really think of anyone in our lives past or present that we would have rather been than ourselves. We rather think of ourselves as Peter Pan and Tinkerbelle who never really grow up and who reinvent themselves, at least in our heads, with regularity. To sum up, we have little idea of who we really are and so cannot compare. It is so much easier to be anyone you wish to be in your head rather than trying to make it a reality.

    However, we often think about people's names and wonder if a name really does reflect the person or whether the person becomes the name. Karla Kay has a sing-song ring to it and she certainly did seem to dance along with a name to match. To have a hyphenated surname would be rather splendid....Baillie-Scott was a particular favourite that at least one of us aspired to once upon a time.

    However, we feel blessed to have names a] that are short and cannot be reduced and b] do not have an unfortunate link with a surname. When we lived in Herefordshire, the nearby village had a shop which sold nearly everything for the house except furniture. The people who ran it were called "Edge" and they called their son Cliff....we always thought to go through life as Cliff Edge was unfortunate.:):)

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  3. Oh, I've grown up long since. Just something about that fragrance of good perfume and cigars. And I love to see if people's names are apropos to their voice, or their countenance, or their ideas---there's nowhere like the South to transfer traits and attributes to names which last a lifetime. Bubba and Sissy are carved on gravestones, for Heaven's sake.

    And I cannot imagine in all my great Imaginer, anyone who WOULDN'T want to be one or the other of YOU---for a time, at least---the things you've accomplished, the people you're surrounded with and call you Friend, and your great talents for conversation and generosity and sheer charisma that attracts thousands. Just the welcome you receive in all those wonderful places---the villas and the chalets, and the gratitude for your work in beautifying them, with your hands and eye, and others with your sheer presence and bon homie---I can scarce imagine a better welcome, save the running hugs from family when I arrive. I seem to have a great freshet of words in any situation, but I've honestly wondered how I'd be in your presence---your experiences and travels and talents are stratospherically beyond my own, and these five years of housebound days have WAY curtailed the company I keep.

    I DID have a lovely long conversation with an old friend this week---I was surprised by a big pink HUG in the grocery at the Fort nearby, enveloped in a corresponding cloud of Pink coat echoing my own, and it was a lovely woman I'd met and enjoyed knowing in the 90's---the wife of the Commanding General, and always a lovely, gracious soul who simply exudes happy welcome and charm. We hadn't seen each other in a long time, so exchanged numbers while we chatted away, probably oblivious to the folks seeking their Thanksgiving onions and squash, and blocking the eggs-and-milk aisle when we coincidentally ran into a retired soldier from those old days, as well. Two pink-clad octogenarians and an old Vet---folks were stopping to greet and reminisce all over the place.

    I never did want to BE Karla Kay---she wasn't very good at things except clothes and boys, was WAY down on the Grades scale, and grudgingly read only the absolute least quota for her Book Reports--- I could not fathom life without BOOKS. It was just the aura of that HOUSE, somehow, and the way everyone smiled at each other, and her Dad drove them all places, and we-who-had-to-walk the quarter mile four times a day to and from school must have envied their quiet ease of stepping out of the car, in a flutter of colorful petticoats, and keeping them down and smooth was about it for their day. You know, you hear about the people who peaked in High School, and live on that forever---I don't think Karla Kay ever had a peak that I know of---just an ordinary woman whose name was probably only the famed, "In the paper three times: When she is born, when she marries (twice) and when she dies." I may not even rate an obituary, but you can believe it would have a lot of stuff in it.

    The folks I'm surrounded with, near and far, and the experiences under my mythical belt, as well as the things and places and sheer wonder of getting up every morning as plain old ME---I'm exceedingly good with that. Sometimes smug, even.

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    Replies
    1. Darling Rachel,

      You really pay us too many, quite undeserved compliments, but we have very very much appreciated them.

      From everything we know of you from the pages of Lawn Tea and, we are certain, this is only to scratch the surface of Rachel the writer, we love the way in which you can find joy in the everyday, can treasure even the most mundane of human interactions and can draw your readers into the wonderful world of the SOUTH.

      We know exactly what you mean about the Karla Kays of life who always seem to have things so much easier than the rest of us 'normal' humans. And, yet, neither you nor we want to be actually Karla Kay. We often reflect on our peers in England with their semi-detached houses in the suburbs who mow their lawns very weekend and send their children to lesser independent schools. Their lives seem so much easier....BUT, they also seem boring.

      We have never crossed the ocean to the USA, and we have scant knowledge about the East, West, North or SOUTH. What we do know is that if we ever should have the great fortune to meet it would be FUN. Exhausting, certainly, but HUGE HUGE FUN.

      We hope you enjoyed a Happy Thanksgiving and we send warmest wishes from a very very cold Budapest.

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