Desperate for a post without the “K” word. A list from my journal of definitions; several are my own doing, and all the rest gathered in unremembered bits and pieces. If any are yours, sing out---I totally believe in Credit Where Due.
Pinecushion---that wonderful carpet in a forest that goes “critch, critch,” as you walk.
Cashtration: The act of buying or renovating a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas or common sense from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of abating.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted where you wonder how they got up there.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
Decafalon: The grueling event of getting through the day eating only things which are good for you.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. Var.: a form of idiocy-by-propinquity.
Arachnoleptic Fit: The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug: Evil in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Umplet: A little lump in the rug that you have to sort of gudge along toward the edge with your feet.
And my absolute favorite, from years ago:
Disconfect: The ability Moms have to remove germs by picking up your dropped cookie and blowing on it.
Says Rachel, off to sort through boxes whilst searching for some Ruth, a bit of Feck, two spoons of Hap, quite a bagful of AIM, and a pennyworth of WHACK, cause I'm pretty much out.